D'you know that the human head weighs 8 pounds?

Other frivolous facts to round me out include:

·         I drank fresh warm snake blood out of a little pink Dixie cup in a men’s night market in Taipei, Taiwan once.  I still prefer that to mushrooms.

·         I never wear a padded bra as I think it is false advertising.   Although, I have always wanted to see the expression on a man’s face when the Victoria’s-no-longer-keeping-a-Secret Miracle Water Bra clunks to the floor like someone dropped a watermelon.  Now, that would be worth the $50 bucks.

·         You know that clear squiggly gel-like stuff hanging between an egg yolk & an egg white?  When I was about 11, I told my little brother that was rooster sperm.  To this day, he can’t eat fried eggs.

·         I don’t care if all my children wear are sleepers. 

·         Not sure why, but I wish I could have a New Zealand accent and live in Stockholm Sweden.

·         My fish have literally survived the last 5 years on those 7 day fish food dissolving vacation pucks.  I tried to move to the 3 day pucks in 2009, but it cost lives.

·         I love point form lists.

·         My Dad called me 'Smudge' - at home, in public, even in business introductions.

·         I am against prenatal classes and hold them responsible for delivery room mass hysteria.   Name another surgery where they put you in a group of overly hormonal & emotional people to watch unsightly & ungodly videos of the upcoming procedure.   Not a good plan.   As a follow up, I would however, like to attend 6 weeks of vasectomy class with my husband.

·         I used to think the Netherlands was where Peter Pan lived.  As a kid, I had a stamp from Amsterdam that was a prized possession.

·         I am not-so-secretly mad that my husband & his three groomsmen did not think to form the “The Wiggles” first.  The resemblance is rather uncanny and I would have enjoyed the money & his travel schedule.  



Me, my husband & his groomsmen -The Wiggle Shoulddabeens

·         I love coffee.  I need coffee.  I am nothing without coffee.  Coffee is magical.

·         I found out Santa didn’t exist in Grade 5 when our teacher passed around “Dear Santa” letters written by the grade one class that needed answering by our class.  I did well & played it cool through at least the first three stages of grief - denial, anger, bargaining.

·         I don’t feel 40, but I am worried I have gone ‘cougar’.  I used to check out sexy older men who would check me out in return, but lately I’ve caught myself ogling Justin Bieber wannabees who don’t even look up from their iPods.  Have the trials & pains of motherhood sent me into a masochistic state?  On what planet do I even like Justin Bieber?  Is this early menopause or bipolar disorder?

·         I hate, and do not get the point of, horror movies.  I don’t need to pay $12 to be stressed out two hours at a time.  I can visit my family and get the same series of emotions for free.

·         I wasn’t sure I liked my university roommate until I found out she used to think that Kim Mitchell song “Patio Lanterns” was actually a song about an Irish girl “Patty O’Lantern”.   She also used to think that God’s name was Howard.  Our Father who art in Heaven, Howard be thy name…  She hates it when I tell this story.

·         Thelma has asked me what I would pick for my last meal if I ever got the chair.  This simple question has given me the equivalent of Foodie ADHD for years.  I have spent hours thinking on this and my mind still ping pongs about.  The meal would however most likely include a magnum of pinot noir, a Reese peanut butter cup, one fresh orange gummy worm, green mango salad and possibly the beef mango red Curry from “Thai One On” (Don Mills location  only) and some of Thelma’s scallops fried in bacon fat of course.  Even as I write this, I am changing my mind as I forgot the butter chicken, penne alla vodka, garlic mashed potatoes and creamsicle.  Episodes of Survivor trigger my life long obsession to one day answer this question.   I ask you, do death row inmates really need this additional stress? 

·         I miss travelling and I hate that one of my next post-partum trips will be to effing Disney.

·         My decision not to circumcise my sons was a direct result of my inability to watch my cat get vaccinated when I was 8 months pregnant. 

·         I couldn’t possibly keep a straight face when an entire yoga class was in the downward facing dog position – which is one of the many reasons I don’t do yoga.

·         I go into heat for any guy who can actually make Wrangler jeans look good.  They are bar none the ugliest pants on the planet.  Any ass that can pull those off, me likey.

·         At a McDonald’s in Hong Kong I was served red bean ice cream by a woman with a name tag on that said “Cinderella”.    I laughed at her until I realized that if I had to pick a Chinese name it is not inconceivable that I would wind up 'Mulan' Pieroway.

·         I don’t’ have, or even really want, a cell phone which makes me absolutely incomprehensible to most people.

·         Stupid people make my right eye tick.

·         I once dumped a guy at the end of a date for telling me when he was 18 he planned to change his first & last name to “IO”.  Like Prince, Cher or Madonna.  He went on to tell me it was one of the moons of Jupiter but, even cooler than that, it was spelt the way it sounds.  Dude, stop talking, my right eye is ticking.

© Christy Pieroway and "Am I Blogging Nuts? Don't Answer That." cpieroway.blogspot.ca, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Christy Pieroway and "Am I Blogging Nuts?  Don't Answer That." cpieroway.blogspot.ca with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.